So I wrote this sometime last week when I was stressed and tripping and somewhat pissed off! This is not nothing factual its just me blowing off steam... Many of ya'll know that I have never smoked before...its just not my scene...that doesn't mean I haven't thought about it...


I’m stressing
I’m pissed off
I’m stressing so much that I’m pissed off
Or is it I’m pissed off so much that I’m stressing
I don’t know and I don’t care
Or I don’t care that I don’t know
What I do know is that now I’m tripping
I’m tripping so much that now I’m now smoking
Or maybe I’m smoking so much that I’m now tripping
And I know people who know me and even those who don’t know me are judging me
Or worried
But whatever
I’m a smart girl
I chose smoking over eating
Well over overeating
And I chose smoking over spending money that I don’t have
It was a well thought out decision

I tried to talk to people about what was stressing me
Turned out that talking to them was adding stress to me
One friend told me my stress wasn’t that big of a deal
The other told me to do some yoga so I could heal
The other didn’t have no time for me
And no I’m not about to throw no kind of pity party
So I called my pastor who said he would pray
And my therapist is the only person who listened to me entirely and then had the nerves tell that she would offer a solution on the next day
The receptionist would handle my bill
At this point my stress and anger were beyond their fill

I found myself with a lighter in one hand and a blunt in the other
Blazing up
The smoke filled up my head taking the place of every negative thought
My insides didn’t hurt
My heart didn’t ache
For a brief period of time I was entirely free
But then I came crashing back down to reality
And everything that had me tripping was still there
A cold reminder that life ain’t no crystal stair
But inhaling let me feel that it could be
Had me like “Everything is easy baby…”
BUT
I still am pissed off and stressed and even more pissed off and stressed that I still got face the causes of my stress and pisstivity