I found ME!

For almost a full year I've been walking around this world feeling like I had lost all direction and there was no purpose for me being here. For someone like me who believes to the very core of who I am that everyone has a purpose which is connected to God's greater purpose, this feeling was extremely frustrating. In walking in this cloud, I felt everything from confusion to anger to extreme apathy. While walking aimlessly, I lost my way from a few of the people who I felt were super important to my Christian walk. I even felt like I had lost God. These feelings were intensified since moving to California.
But I feel like this past week the fog of confusion is clearing up. And last night I went to sleep feeling like I have found clarity. Its crazy! If you don't share my same beliefs or have not traveled a similar walk to mine, then you might not understand. Seriously, I feel like when I woke up, I was finally in sunny California.
No,my outside situation hasn't changed but that whole crazy depressed feeling that was in me for the past year is gone! If you've ever been depressed then you know how great it feels to come out of a depression! For me, walking out of that cloud meant me finding my direction, reconnecting to God (who it turns out wasn't misplaced) and letting go of somethings (guilt of losing some friends, worry,my own plans, pride, etc.)
It is easy to say that everything in life happens for a reason. It is hard to understand and even difficult to believe this is true when the things happening to you are/seem bad. But I have found PEACE. Which is something that I have always had up until last year. Somehow I think we believe that part of being an adult is learning how to worry. I never tended to worry but the moment I did, I worried BIG time. I feel that it was then that I had to find Peace and know Peace (that serious God Peace.) I'm thinking that Peace is one of the basic things you need on your Christian walk. If you don't have that...then you do not TRULY know God...and anything can take you out. KNOW GOD, KNOW PEACE. NO GOD, NO PEACE.