Breakthru

This blog is a day late but I have a testimony and I have got to share.

So yesterday I was having a really low, I can't take this anymore day. I slept until noon. I got out of the bed only to get my Haggen Dasz rasberry sorbet. I crawled back in bed and chatted on gmail with my roomie.
I told her how I was tired of this whole job search thing and I just wanted to crawl into a whole and emerge a whole new person. I applied for a few jobs but mostly i just stayed in bed and pitied myself. It was really a sad situation.
I decided to change my facebook status to say "Twilla is screaming God, I can't take this anymore!" The moment I pressed enter, and I lie to you not, my phone rang. On the other end was the guy that I had interviewed for on Friday. This is the job I told my parents and close friends that I really really wanted. Everything about it from the owner, to the position, to the office environment said that this job is for me!
Everything this weekend felt like I was just building up for me to step in my destiny. Hanging out at star studded events, hanging with friends, talking about traveling the world...everything. But by the time Monday rolled around, all that confidence got up and left...
Back to my story, the guy on the other end was telling me that I had gotten the job. After the conversation, I hang up. My hands shaking and then I start boohooing like a baby. Everything that I went through this past year...all my emotions, my ups and my downs, my growing, my overwhelming support from my family and encouragement from my friends...everything HIT me at once! And all I could say was "Thank you God!"
I realized that if this is what BREAKTHRU/VICTORY feels like then everything I went through was worth it!
I don't feel like I am done in this phase of life and that I still have a long way to go but regardless I am grateful!

the champ is here!

Reasons to be Grateful

*Hezekiah Walker's Grateful playing softly in the background*

This morning I woke up praising God and complaining simultaneously. You see, I haven't worked in FOREVER and I really need money. I can't express how much I need money. But I have this thing about HATING waking up before 9am especially when I have to because I am on somebody else's watch. On top of that, I am NOT a morning person! I don't talk in the morning, I don't smile, I don't want anything to do with anyone before 10:30am. So I had to do A LOT of praying to stay in the right mindset for my first day on this temp assignment.

I knew my job would be in downtown LA and I knew I would be working at some kind of mission doing some HR work. But it HIT me when I got to the mission... I got to one block and there were lines of homeless people...all over! Suddenly, I felt guilty for complaining about not having money. Truth is, although I don't know where my next month's rent is coming from, I'm not homeless. At least not yet...

When I woke up this morning I had a hot shower, put on clean clothes, cooked breakfast, and hopped in my car (which has half a tank of gas!!) This is my everyday reality, which compared to much of the world is a luxury! I know that right now I do feel that I am one paycheck away from being in a truly desperate situation but I was super humbled.

My problems which always seem big to me at the time are nothing different than somebody else has been through or is going through. I can name at least 4 other people in my immediate circle who are going through the same thing! My problems really aren't that big of a deal. And when I feel like complaining maybe I just need to drive down Skidrow where people are really struggling.

Life ain't no crystal stairs... I don't know why I thought I was excluded from this truth.